Ask Chuka

  A few days ago, Yunga and I were discussing how to deal with the sound challenges in our parish. Catholic Church sound issues… hmmm. At some point, I got tired of the conversation and said we should just leave the matter. After all, we are not the ones leading the church. If the priests are comfortable with the sound the way it is, no wahala. We will keep managing it until we can no longer cope, and then perhaps move on to places with better sound systems. I honestly expected him to agree with me. Instead, he said something that stopped me. “𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐮𝐬.” He went on to explain that we had not implemented all the strategies we had in mind. We had not even shared all our ideas with the priests before deciding to give up. According to him, if we did nothing, a day would come when people would walk into that church and wonder what kind of people once worshipped there. They would say, “Chuka, Yunga, Hilary and others were here… and this was the r...

  I read the story about a hunter who once caught a bird in a trap, but released it on the condition that the bird would give him three wise suggestions. The bird assured him that although it looked worthless, it had something valuable to offer. After gaining its freedom, the bird kept its promise. It said, 𝟏. 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞. 𝟐. 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝟑. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞. On hearing this, the hunter scoffed and said, “I practise these things all the time. I knew you had nothing meaningful to offer.” The bird then flew to a higher branch and replied, “If you truly understood what I said, you would not have released me. There is a precious ruby in my heart. You could have made a fortune.” Immediately, the hunter was filled with regret . He tried to climb the tree to catch the bird, but fell and injured him...

  When I was in boarding school, I had a friend whose provisions were just garri , sugar and kuli kuli . For me, I had no garri at all. My parents believed it affected eyesight, so it never made it into my box. Yet, despite what we had or didn’t have, Kevin and I became very close. Same hostel, same class. We were almost inseparable in Federal Government College Kaduna . He was good at football, fast, and likeable, but there was a problem no one saw. Anytime Kevin asked for my provisions especially milk to soak his garri or cornflakes and I refused, he would stop speaking to me. Completely. No explanation. Just silence. And somehow, I always found myself begging him… with double of what he asked for. This went on for years. My provisions would finish quickly and when my mum asked, I couldn’t explain. They thought seniors were taking them. Even when I started keeping things with my guardian, it didn’t stop. Kevin would demand I bring more. When I couldn’t, the silence returned. At s...

  Two years ago, when I took Naija Brand Chick DSI, one message from a facilitator stayed with me till today. She said, “𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧.” That day, the ratio of women to men was almost 9.5 to 0.5. From their faces, you could tell they were hungry — not just for success, but for a way out. Many of them felt broken from their relationships. And for them, financial success was not just about money — it was about freedom. I attended because I wanted to grow our business. At the time, we were not where I wanted us to be. And truth be told, when I applied the lessons from that course, things changed. We made real progress. But like many people, we didn’t sustain the habits. --- Now in 2026, with everything happening in Nigeria, I began to feel that same urgency again. I wanted to go back. But DSI was no longer running. Thankfully, the course was structured in a way that I could still access the materials. So I went back to...

  This reflection continues my recent thoughts on why, in a world that constantly tells us to move on, wisdom sometimes asks us to 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸. In my discourse yesterday 👉🏾 https://www.askchuka.com/2026/03/blog-post_9.html I explained why ignoring the past can lead us to repeat the same mistakes. There is a popular saying that if we fail to keep the records of history, we will inevitably repeat its errors. Many times, when we rush forward without looking back, we run into avoidable mistakes we may regret for the rest of our lives. Let me tell a short story. My sons have always been drawn to sports. At some point they told me they wanted to become professional sportsmen. In Nigeria, that kind of aspiration is not very common. Most children grow up talking about careers in medicine, law, engineering and other traditional professions. But I believe that people can become what they truly aspire to be. So I supported them. We enrolled them in football and tennis programmes so th...

In my discourse yesterday 👉🏾 https://www.askchuka.com/2026/03/blog-post.html  I reflected on why the growing idea of “𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙚 𝙙𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬” can be problematic. I also promised to explain why, especially in a world that constantly tells us to 𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗢𝗡, while wisdom quietly reminds us to 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞. Let me tell you a short story. One day, my son began bleeding profusely from his nose, and we rushed him to a hospital in Abuja (𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙡’𝙨 𝙈𝘿). In the past, I had some minor concerns about a few of their diagnoses, although my wife preferred the hospital, perhaps because of the environment. So this time, I armed myself with a medical application on my phone to validate some of the diagnoses the doctors might give. Unfortunately, my concerns proved valid. A young doctor suggested that the bleeding might be related to a Vitamin K deficiency and propos...

My friend told me recently that their new employee resigned after her probationary period was extended because of her performance. HR had a conversation with her and pointed out areas where she needed improvement. She was given a one-month extension to work on those areas, but instead of taking the opportunity to grow, she chose to resign. A few days earlier, I also spoke with my mentor. He struggled to relax during our conversation because he had just come out of an argument with a Gen Z employee regarding expectations on a task he had been assigned. These days, you hear many stories about what it is like working with Gen Z. It often feels as though a new generation is trying to redefine how work, commitment and responsibility should look in this era. The challenge is that everywhere you turn, someone is saying, “Things are no longer done that way.” The message seems simple: accept the new way things are done or insist on your values even if you have to stand alone. To be honest, I ha...

  If it were good for man to be alone, God would never have created the woman. But He thought differently. He created a help meet , suitable, strong, intentional. And if you truly understand what it means to receive help, you will understand the significance of women in the development of humanity and the advancement of our world. As much as I am a man who believes in uplifting men, I cannot recount a single season of my life when I was not helped by a woman. The first woman I knew was my mother. Without my knowledge, and with God’s help, she carried me into this world. She nurtured me. She walked me to school. She taught me my first words and my first songs. She held me when I lost my father. And when it was time for me to build my own family, she was strong enough to let me go,  to love another woman. How do I recount the blessings of marrying my wife? Yes, marriage comes with challenges. But it also comes with partnership, counsel, strength, and unseen sacrifices that hold ...

About three weeks ago, I became tired of constantly searching for pencils and pens whenever I wanted to study with my children. It felt like a small issue, but it was costing us time, money and discipline. So I stopped tolerating it. I drove to Jewel Multiservices at Area 1 and bought pencils, pens, erasers, rulers and a proper stationery container. I placed it close to the dining area where we study. Then I gave clear instructions: Every item taken must be returned immediately after use. Replacements will only happen when the ink finishes or the pencil lead is exhausted. If I check and anything is missing, everyone answers. Day one: a pen and pencil were missing. Blame game started. Eventually, they were found and returned. Day two: same thing. Day three and four: nothing missing. It has now been three weeks. Only one pencil is gone, the lead finished. One pen is missing, perhaps a visitor who did not know our rule. Inspection changed behaviour. A few days ago, while reviewing why sa...